A year of Crossfit…

I never thought I would stick to anything for more than a month or two. I mean, lets be honest here, I never have before! But Crossfit is different. I really cannot imagine my life without it!

Lately, I’ve been really beating myself up though. I thought that I would “further along” in my weight loss, or lifting more, or whatever my issue is for the day. I kept really getting onto myself and well, being mean.

Then I came across a picture from a few weeks before I joined my Box (on the left). Curiosity got the best of me and I wanted a comparison picture…  So, I pulled up a a picture from this past month (on the right).

Now, I know I am not done… I still have plenty of work to do! But I love seeing the difference! 🙂

Just wanted to share because some times I think we lose sight of our progress and our eyes get stuck looking at the scale.

Thank you, to my coaches at Desert Forge Crossfit for helping me change my life! You have been by my side this entire year, never stopped believing in me, supporting me and pushing me! Love you all!!

 

Be Blessed,

Jai

Identity

Do you ever have days that you look around and wonder “who am I”?

I used to struggle with not knowing who I really truly was. I was also a mom and a wife but never Jai. So, over the past few years, as I’ve unburied myself from this weight, I’ve gotten glimpses of who I really am and who was hiding beneath the food and fluffy. I remember her from my teenage years. She was kinda cool in my book.

But on days like today, I wonder “what’s so great about her – me”? And this isn’t a pity party question, it’s a legitimate question. I know that we all have some traits that stick out, things that people love (and not so love), things we contribute to society–friends–family, so on and so on. Everyone is unique no matter what they think or feel.

But if people find a way to imitate you, and fill your shoes – then you must not have been so great after all – right? When you think about the most amazing people – there’s no one else around that could have or will ever be able to fill those shoes. And I don’t feel like I’ve created a life that is like that. (I’m not referring to my kids, by the way – I mean, outside of my house.) I don’t feel like the impression I leave on the outside world is enough to remain if I were to step aside.

Is that ego? pride? wrong? I don’t think it’s those…….. I don’t feel like I want that for glory or selfish reasons. To me it’s more of a sense of belonging, of mattering – but on a level that not just anyone could reach. It’s touching someone’s heart in way that leaves a mark. Is that selfish? Maybe it is……

That teenager I was, that girl I see glimpses of….. She was kind of messed up – naive, stubborn, loud, opinionated, strong….. She survived a lot of sh*t. She was a real survivor. Dumb, but a survivor… And she had a life, with experiences and adventures and happiness.

I don’t want to just survive any more.

I want to live. And I want it to be MY life. Not one anyone can step in and imitate. One that’s mine and one that matters.